Sweetie is ruing the day he turned me on to Krampus. Never has a demon so set my heart afire. Forget cookies and milk, this holiday season I’m setting out the bullwhip and a shot of vodka for my new bestie. Krampus, baby, you are welcome in my house.
For those of you who don’t live on the internet, Krampus is a German pagan fertility spirit who has found employment as Santa’s sidekick in a kind of good cop/bad cop routine. Santa gets the nice list, bringing toys and candies to good little boys and girls the world over. Krampus gets the naughty list. Forget coal in your stocking, Krampus will leer in your windows, drink your booze, sex up your woman, then snatch any naughty children, whipping them with switches before stuffing them into his big wicker basket and hauling them off to an inky lake of fire. He doesn’t even wait for the 24th, he rolls into town December 5th and gets a preemptive strike on all those bad boys and girls. It’s like Halloween and Christmas rolled together. I love it.
And, excellent parent that I am, I routinely threaten my children with Krampus. Of course, they are my children, so the threats aren’t exactly effective. 6yo is convinced that since he’s not nearly as naughty as 3yo, he’ll be spared. He throws his brother under the bus, telling him that “Cramp-ass
debradunbar
He’s quite the character!
I really wanted to have a Krampus party this year, but just couldn’t swing it with my schedule. Next year, maybe!
Susan A.
lol, your three year old sounds like loads of fun. I enjoyed reading about Krampus. Never heard of him before, but now I’ll be on the look-out just in case!