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It’s a Friday- a beautiful spring day, and my thoughts are filled with . . . satire.

PRODUCT REVIEW: McDonald’s Small French Fries

Not Worth The Money – 1 star

I’d seen various Tweets about this product, and decided I’d give it a try.  The cover art was nicely done- beautiful golden fries rising proud from a brilliant red container.  I was uncertain as I haven’t tried anything else by Mr. McDonald, so I ordered the small version.  Now I feel that I not only wasted my money, but the valuable time it took me to consume the product.  Several of my fries had brown overcooked tips, and at least three were limp.  I really expected better.  Where is the quality control?  Did Mr. McDonald not employ an editor or a proofreader to check his work?

The fries tasted bland- poor quality prose covered up with an overabundance of salt.  Yes, they were hot, but the lack of flavor ruined any advantage that correct temperature provided.  Mr. McDonald should return to the culinary academy or at the very least find a decent critique group to give him feedback before he ever releases another product to the public.  I can’t believe I spent $1.19 for these.  I want my money back, even though I ate every single one of them (including the limp ones), and licked the salt from the wrapper.

I really expected so much more for my money.  It’s no wonder Mr. McDonald hasn’t been picked up by an agent or on Top Chef.

____

Yes, that’s satire, folks.  Although if McDonald’s stumbles across this and wants to send me a bunch of free coupons, I won’t say “no

Comments(4)

  1. Thanks Johann!
    Actually, I’ve not received ANY bad reviews yet. (Knock on wood, although I’m sure eventually one will happen. Even the best writers get negative reviews, so I’ll be in good company.) I’d overheard someone complaining about something on the dollar menu, and thought it was hysterical, so I wrote my own scathing review and threw in some references to ones I’ve read for books. It was totally written in the spirit of good fun.

    Although, those limp fries really do bother me.

  2. I’ve gotten some really excellent fries from Mickey’s, especially considering the price.

    But I sense some bitterness that could only come from having gotten a bad review.

    I know that Steve used to say that I was easy to please, or, more often, “You’re a cheap date!” but I can’t imagine what they had to criticize about your books, at least the ones I’ve read.

    OK, they may not be the great literature that will still be around a thousand years from now, like Chaucer, or Shakespeare, but I find them highly entertaining and a lot of fun. They’re definately a cut above Mickey’s fries, but probably not quite up to those expensive fries you had.

    That didn’t sound as good as I meant it to.

    I like them, I miss Sam, and I want to read the next book!

  3. Yeah, I was pretty harsh on those fries, but I need to judge all food by the same standard. Only fair, right? Those hand cut, heirloom variety, organic fries with sea salt I had the other week were so superior to this. Of course they were $12.99, even for the e-version.

  4. Wow. Brutal. Normally, I’d say where’s the constructive criticism, but since these aren’t indie fries, that doesn’t apply. Have to say I agree with your assessment ~ limp, passive-voice fries are a pet peeve, yet I find myself swallowing them also. Then hating myself for it. Love you satire, though.

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